Free Famous Quotes about Love, Dating and Happiness

Funny Sex Quotes

by Wenbin Nah | Thursday, October 16, 2008 in , |

Funny Quotes about Sex

- "Wanna fuck?"
- "Looks like you talked me into it, you sweet-talking bastard"

~ An Australian Joke

"I believe that sex is the most beautiful, natural and wholesome thing that money can buy."
~ Steve Martin

"Sex is like money; only too much is enough."
~ John Updike

"My wife and i have Olympic sex. Once every four years."
~ Rodney Dangerfield

"My wife told me she wanted to have sex in the back seat of the car. She wanted me to drive."
~ Rodney Dangerfield

"I remember the first time i had sex because i kept the receipt."
~ Bill Brandis

"Men are like firemen. To us, sex is an emergency, and no matter wht we're doing, we can be ready in two minutes. Women, on the other hand, are like fire. They're very exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur."
~ Jerry Seinfeld

"The three words you don't wanna hear, while you're making love are, 'Honey, I'm home.'"
~ Ken Hammond

"You know the look women get when they want sex? Me neither."
~ Drew Carey

"What do i know about sex? I'm a married man."
~ Tom Clancy

"There are a number of mechanical devices that increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes 380SL convertible."
~ P.J. O' Rourke

"My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects."
~ Les Dawson

"My boyfriend used to say, 'I read Playboy for the articles.' Right, and i go to shopping malls for the music."
~ Rita Rudner

"Is sex dirty? Only if it’s done right."
~Woody Allen

“I’m such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.”
~ Woody Allen

“I'm a terrible lover. I've actually given a woman an anti-climax.”

~ Scott Roeben

View a related post about Funny Dating Quotes.

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