"It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper."
~ Jerry Seinfeld (Famous Actor,Comedian)
"Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone."
~ Anthony Burgess
"Acquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to."
~ Ambrose Bierce
"I don’t deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don’t deserve that either."
~ Jack Benny
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
~ Henny Youngman